Ah, delicious! We’re giving thanks today to Gizmodo, for their roundup of crazy air travel stories, in case you think you’ve had a rough one lately. Keep it together, people. And Happy Thanksgiving!
“So, this is camping… It wouldn’t be so bad if we could just go inside, but apparently, nature is just “too cool” for that.”
So begins Suzy Barrett‘s latest hilarious NSFW (for extremely foul language) tromp through too-perfect California… Along the way she unleashes a string of expletives whilst…
- hanging out in idyllic California forests
- Slipping clumsily on tree trunks and paths
- Screaming bloody murder in Class II rapids
- Flipping off a heron
And what does she hate the most?
- “f***ing untranslatable beauty”
- “dumbass teamwork”
- “good for nothing yurt village”
- “f***ing trees that tell a story”
OK, this is the funniest stuff we’ve seen in a long time. But it’s not a hug she needs, it’s a high-five.
You know when you’re hiking along a pretty trail around sunset, then you take a little tumble and…oopsie, your foot is detached from your body, with bloody bones sticking out and your foot bent cartoonishly backwards? Lexi DeForest knows. The chipper Colorado college student was hiking last week in Wyoming when she attempted to jump a small ravine, but snapped her ankle completely in two, and then filmed her own personal pep talk and rescue. Lexi, we’d hike with you any day. Our favorite lines of her calm, cool, and hilariously understated take on the 127 Hours tradition of documenting your own incredible outdoor mishap: ”The bone isn’t really attached! It’s truly something…I’d show you more, but I might vomit on myself.” It’s truly impressive to watch and hear how she holds it all together. “Sooo, I think this is the only way I can put it, but…I am f*cking scared…but in the calmest coolest sense…” And most of all, on seeing lights down the mountain trail…”Yeah! Come up here, bitches!”
Fair warning: this video portrays an insanely broken ankle, mostly bloodless, and is as hard to watch as it is to turn off. Thanks to Adventure Journal for the incredible find and share. [via Adventure Journal]
We’ve never been to Death Valley, let alone traipse around it in the hottest month ever recorded. But that’s exactly what ultrarunners Marshall Ulrich and Dave Heckman decided to try recently, ending up half-dead but victorious on their 16-day, 425-mile hell hike. Here’s a snapshot from Outside Magazine’s Joe Spring on how it was done.
Despite burying 37 caches of water and food (MREs, Cheetos, and freeze-dried meals from Expedition Foods) at strategic spots around the park, both men lost a considerable amount of weight. The five-foot-nine, 61-year-old Ulrich dropped ten pounds, and the 38-year-old Heckman dropped 25 pounds. There was a lot of suffering. When the duo worked over eight hours to climb out of the mostly trail-less Saline Valley, a roughly 5-mile trek that gains 5,000 feet in elevation, Ulrich started to hallucinate and took several naps. Heckman stepped in and carried Ulrich’s pack up the final section. Ulrich said it was, “”an ass kicker, not one of my finer moments and in fact one of my worst.” At least the pair had the views offered by a mostly untrammelled landscape: one park ranger, a couple of cars, abandoned mining shacks, an operating gold mine, reptiles, and Charlie Manson’s old hideout. When the pair finished, they immediately put ice cubes in their mouths and turned on the radio for their car ride home.
Read more about how these two admirable loons survived this insane expedition here. (via OutsideOnline.com).
OK all you Kerouacs, could you rhapsodize 14 lines about a car trip you once took, be it good, bad, ugly, or hilarious? We think we could. Which is why we’re digging this Esurance contest just announced.
Their ‘Poems of the Road Contest’ (timed for National Poetry Month) offers a chance to win $2,000 (and eternal glory on the Esurance blog). In addition to literary fame, the winning poets receive:
$2,000 (grand prize)
$1,000 (second place)
$500 (third place)
NPR’s Car Talk guys, Tom and Ray Magliozzi are the guest judges, and people can read the poems and vote for their favorite via Facebook. To qualify for the contest, a poem must be 14 lines or less, original, and feature the word “road” in the body or title. Submissions will be judged based on equal parts creativity/originality, content, imagery, and audience votes on Facebook. (Voting will be open until May 7, so get those entries in early).
Aspiring writers can enter starting by visiting Esurance’s Facebook Contest Page. The contest runs through April 30, 2012. People can vote on their favorite poems through May 7, 2012. You can find more details in their blog post. Good luck.
Hmm. What rhymes with ‘transmission fluid’?