The Accidental Extremist | Because bad trips make great stories.

Snap, Crackle, Drop…Scream [Close Calls]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Adding Insult to Injury, Bad Asses, Close Calls, Human Sacrifice, Survival, Water Water Everywhere, X Marks the Splat | Tagged Aussies, Bungee Jumping, Zambezi River | Leave a comment

9January2012

Bungee jumping sounds fun, right? The so-called “sport” has long been one of those three-beers-in vacation stunts that earns a person lifetime cocktail party cred, because having done it confers a certain badass-ness that belies how statistically insignificant accidents are on the old rubber bands. And, yes, it looks pretty fun. They test those things, right?

But then, there’s this terrifying possibility, in which a plucky woman’s cord snaps, dropping her 60 feet into the alligator-infested Zambezi River 365′ below the sketchy-looking leap-off point. Watch to see the aftermath; forget bungee jumping ever again. (Via Adventure Journal)

Christmas In Helladise [Water Water Everywhere]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Adding Insult to Injury, Ferry Thee Well, Happy Hellidays, Hotel Hell, The Old Bait and Switch, When Charity Attacks | Leave a comment

19December2011

Ho ho ho, all aboard the S.S. Disastro!

Being the selfless, caring person that I am, I generously give up my seat to an elderly man. My behavior is encouraged by the fact that it’s Christmas Eve and I’m waiting for a ferry that will take me to my home island of Martinique after a holiday in Dominica. After two hours and six minutes of standing, my Mother Teresa-like demeanor is lost. My feet ache, the nonstop Caribbean sun is painful on my already sunburned skin and sweat begins to drip off my chin, bringing my sunscreen with it. Any feelings of merriment and goodwill are gone. I shoot an envious glare at the rather smug man relishing the shade of my seat.

I should mention that this two hour, six minute wait for our ferry occurs after we’ve been hustled through a frenzied ticketing, customs and security check, which entail long, disorderly lines and a man who seems to get a nasty enjoyment from completely unpacking your bag… Continue reading

Time to Beer Travel [contests]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Books + Media, Happy Hellidays, Water Water Everywhere | Tagged beer, Beer West, Emily Hutto | Leave a comment

12December2011

The Accidental Extremist loves beer — much of the time it’s the only safe thing to drink! In fact we love it so much that we teamed up with Beer West magazine for a contest you can really drink to. Send them a story for a chance to win. How? Read this piece by Beer West Editor Emily Hutto for inspiration… and then get cracking.

FOOT LOOSE

I step off a cruise ship, disoriented and mildly nauseous from a week of rocky seas. I venture onto the cobblestone pavement of the port in Brazil, where round women in rounder costume skirts serenade the town. I walk to the side of the dock, scoping out the surrounding boats and ships. It’s refreshing to see so much color after a week of blue-waves and sky and ship tablecloths-all blue.

Another ship is pulling in next to mine and a rowboat of fisherman is anchored nearby. I sit on the dock and stretch my foot out to sit cross-legged when off flies my flip-flop into the ocean. Great. My first step into a new country is going to a barefooted one.

Before I even have a chance to react, one of the fishermen anchored for lunch dives into the ocean to rescue my floating flop! His strapping shoulders hoist him back onto his boat. Immediately he turns back to me, waving with a wide smile and flip-flop in hand.—Emily Hutto

Now, it’s your turn: Beer West is calling for submissions of your best 700-word travel narrative and photos. Please email your story to emhutto@beerwestmag.com by December 31st, 2011 to win prizes featured in Beer West’s Spring Issue Road trip Gear Guide. Your story will also be featured in the “Confessions” section of the Spring 2012 Travel issue of the magazine. Please email all submissions and put TRAVEL STORY in the subject line. One story and photo entry per person. The winner will be notified via email.

The Hot Pants Tree Fire [Disco Inferno]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Bad Asses, Close Calls, Run or Die, Survival, The Howl of Nature, Water Water Everywhere | Tagged Disco Inferno, John Cameron, Saturday Night Fever | Leave a comment

14November2011

During a “Saturday Night Fever” themed cookout and dinner to celebrate the last night at camp for the last session of campers a lodge pole pine tree was struck by lightning. A camper flung open the door to the dining hall in a torrent of rain and announced the news: “the tree is on fire!” In our tight disco wear we sprung into action. We yanked two chain saws to life as the top of the tree raged in fire 60 feet above our heads. The decision was to cut down the tree and allow it to fall in the open meadow nearby then douse it with water thus—hopefully—saving the forest and the camp at the same time.

With full ferocity of the engine we were cutting the fall wedge with the first chainsaw. It ran 6 inches into the burning tree, dulled and became bound. The second chainsaw was slashed in to cut it out. In the frenzy it too jammed, soon slack, dull, smoking and useless. The tree continued to burn, and with only a small wedge just begun, it continued to stand.

As we toiled over the technology that was letting us down a wild idea was thrown out. “What about the cross-cut saw?” someone asked. It sat decoratively above the doorway in the dining hall. It was a bygone hand tool from a bygone time and was now our only option. A counselor took off running to grab this, our only hope. His leather fringe disco vest and afro wig of a bygone fashion bounced and waved as he ran.

We took shifts heaving the cross-cut saw in turn as one would tire out. The swaying hips and bobbing heads of those on the saw in their disco outfits looked similar to the dance moves that were being practiced during the day to prepare for the Saturday Night Fever Dance later that night. It is hilarious to imagine now, only nobody was laughing then. The tree was still standing and still burning. Suddenly a “pop” and then another, and in unison shouts of caution turned to cheers as the tree began to fall safely, thunderously and magnificently toward the meadow. In a fiery swhoosh it landed and a line of campers holding pots of water stretch from the tree to the kitchen sink in the dining hall providing an endless flow of water.

When it was over we stood staring in amazement. The forest was saved. We worked together flawlessly and efficiently without a single designated leader but rather a collective intelligence that made decisions in an instant and, most importantly, in impeccable disco fashion. The dance could go on.

John Cameron writes from coffee places and green spaces around Philadelphia. His art is inspired by travel and all things wild and his bag is never unpacked. Find more online here.

Würst Story Ever [Off The Map]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Human Sacrifice, Mountain Madness, Off The Map | Leave a comment

17October2011

The Telegraph is reporting that a German tourist (left) may have been eaten by cannibals. The paper reported that “Stefan Ramin, 40, from Hamburg, disappeared last month after reaching the remote tropical island of Nuku Hiva in French Polynesia. After a week of searches, charred human remains and clothes have been found near a campfire in a remote valley on the island, raising fears that he may have been attacked and eaten by cannibals.” I’m just going to stop there, because this is really too horrible to contemplate. Condolences to the Ramin family! Get it together Nuku Hiva; you’re officially off my map.

Trail of Tears [The Howl of Nature]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Mountain Madness, Survival, The Howl of Nature | Leave a comment

16October2011

You know when you’re just riding along on your bike, thinking about dinner and that time you once bunny hopped a really big branch, and then a 450-lb red hartebeest just totally takes you out at about 50mph? No? It’s unlikely, but in case you haven’t already seen this incredible bike race highlight, here it is, for your twisted, sadistic pleasure. Via AdventureJournal.

9 Days in Iraq [Happy Hellidays]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Books + Media, Hotel Hell, Human Sacrifice, Nothing to Declare, Off The Map, Road Warriors, The Unfriendly Skies | Tagged Paula Froelich | Leave a comment

9August2011

Writer Paula Froelich describes her recent 9-day vacation in Iraq including “159 checkpoints in one day,” wearing a synthetic fiber burka, hitting known-terrorist hangouts, and basically kicking it in “The Red Zone” for her upcoming story in Playboy, which you now have a legitimate reason to buy.

ONLY Weeks Left to Enter ‘World’s Unluckiest Traveler 2: The Rescue’ Contest

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Books + Media, Close Calls | Leave a comment

4August2011

From High Seas Heroics to Airport Assistance and more, Travel Guard® North America Wants Your Random Acts of Kindness

Stevens Point, Wisc. – (August 4, 2011) With only weeks left to enter the World’s Unluckiest Traveler 2: The Rescue contest, Travel Guard North America (www.travelguard.com), a leader in travel insurance and assistance services, is urging the public to recognize the unsung heroes of travel by sharing tales of random acts of kindness. Whether a concierge went above and beyond, an airline employee provided special assistance or a fellow traveler helped save a trip, Travel Guard wants to hear about it. With a $10,000 Hero’s Vacation and airfare for two at stake, stories of random acts of kindness witnessed while traveling have been streaming in throughout the summer.

Submissions to date include “Baboon Rescue in Kenya,” the story of an American visitor who saved the lives, and lunches, of his tour group thanks to some quick thinking. The group was exploring African wildlife areas when they stopped for a lunch break and unwittingly encountered a troop of baboons. Spotting some cookies the group had packed for lunch, the baboons raced toward them, pouncing on the cookies and nearly landing on a small child. The brave member of the group took charge, distracting the baboons, causing them to retreat while his fellow tour members escaped to safety.

“Attack of the Gallbladder” is the story of a couple who met their driver, Martin, in Germany after disembarking from a European river cruise. The trio made a pit stop in a small town on their way to Prague, when the wife began suffering a gallbladder attack. Martin drove the couple to the local hospital, served as a translator and waited for hours while the doctors ran a series of tests. Afterward, he helped them pick up prescriptions and took them to their hotel in Prague, only to make another trip to a different hospital at 7 a.m. the next morning. The wife was admitted and treated until she could return home for surgery with Martin there every step of the way!

The entry “Trip to Visit Mom” tells of a mother traveling alone with her two young children to visit their grandmother in Florida. Her hands were full with the kids and their belongings during a layover at a busy airport, when a pilot saved the day by offering his help and carrying the one-year-old to the gate.

“From unlikely rescues to medical emergencies, I am encouraged by the random acts of kindness that shine through the hectic nature of travel,” said Carol Mueller, vice president, Travel Guard North America. “Whether it’s one traveler helping another or a travel industry employee who saved the day, we believe the travel tales of kindness we continue to receive will inspire individuals to take a minute and help someone in need.”

Entries will be accepted on www.travelguard.com through Labor Day, September 5. On September 27, World Tourism Day, Travel Guard will announce the 10 best stories, as chosen by a panel of travel experts including:

Spud Hilton – Travel Editor, San Francisco Chronicle
Rick Seaney – Co-Founder, FareCompare.com
George Hobica – Founder, Airfare Watchdog
Harvey Chipkin – Freelance Travel Writer
Christian DeBenedetti – Freelance Correspondent, Outside
Eileen Ogintz – Syndicated columnist, Creator of TakingTheKids.com
Everett Potter – Founder, Everett Potter’s Travel Report
Kim Orlando – Founder, TravelingMom.com

Throughout the month of October, the public will vote for the ultimate act of kindness from 10 finalists. The winning hero, as voted by North America, will be awarded a $10,000 Hero’s Vacation. The person who nominated the winning story will win airfare for two anywhere in the U.S.

Travel Guard’s “World’s Unluckiest Traveler” app, available for Android and iPhone, makes it easy to stay up-to-date with the contest while on the run. The public is also encouraged to spread the love by sharing their favorite stories of travel good deeds via Facebook, Twitter and other social networks. For more information on the contest and a full set of rules and regulations, visit www.travelguard.com.

About Travel Guard

Travel Guard, a Chartis company and worldwide leader in travel insurance and assistance, provides products and services to millions of travelers around the globe, including a wide range of emergency services through its wholly-owned assistance centers located in Asia, Europe and the Americas. Travel Guard helps leisure and business travelers alike solve problems and manage risks. Travel Guard’s global reach, unparalleled service quality and proven operational capabilities allow clients to receive best-in-class care. Travel Guard’s suite of technology platforms enables seamless integration with all major travel distribution systems and supplier channels. The travel insurance products marketed by Travel Guard are underwritten by insurance company subsidiaries and affiliates of Chartis Inc. For additional information, please visit our websites at www.travelguard.com and www.travelguardworldwide.com.

NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND OR SALES PRESENTATION IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN THIS CONTEST AND SWEEPSTAKES. A PURCHASE WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. The Travel Guard “Random Act of Kindness” Promotion starts May 30, 2011 at 9:00:00 AM EST and ends October 31, 2011 at 11:59:59 PM EST. Open to legal residents of the United States (excluding U.S. Territories), age 21 and over, and residents of Canada (excluding Quebec) over the age of majority in their province/territory, at the time of entry. The Promotion consists of a Video/Photo Contest (“Contest”) component and a Voter Sweepstakes (“Sweepstakes”) Component. To Enter the Contest: Beginning May 30, 2011 at 9:00:00 AM EST and ending September 5, 2011 at 11:59:59 PM EST go to www.TravelGuard.com and submit either a video or a photo along with an accompanying story describing your submission (between 10 and 200 words), about a random act of kindness by someone who has helped you or someone else when away from home, along with your full name, email address, phone number, country and state/province/territory of residence and a username and password, and the full name, email address, phone number, country and state/province/territory of residence of the Nominee. Contest Entries must be submitted by September 5, 2011 at 11:59:59 PM EST. Limit one Unique Contest Entry per person/household per day. To Enter the Sweepstakes: Beginning October 1, 2011 at 9:00 AM EST and ending October 31, 2011 at 11:59:59 PM EST, go to www.TravelGuard.com, and vote for one of the eligible Contest Entries, enter your full name, email address, phone number, country and state/province/territory of residence and a username and password. You will receive one (1) entry into the Sweepstakes (“Entry”) for your Vote if you voted for the eventual Contest Grand Prize Winner. Limit one (1) Vote/Entry per person/email address per day. Odds of winning the Sweepstakes Prize depends on the number of Votes received for the Contest Grand Prize Winner during the Voting Period. Sponsor: Travel Guard Group, Inc., 3300 Business Park Drive, Stevens Point, Wisconsin 54482. Void in Puerto Rico and all other U.S. territories, Quebec and where prohibited by law. Subject to full official rules, available at www.TravelGuard.com/Unlucky.

Travel Guard’s sponsorship of the World’s Unluckiest Traveler Contest is not intended to represent in any respect that Travel Guard’s insurance plans cover any of the events depicted in any single entry. For full and complete insurance coverage details, please contact Travel Guard directly.

Going Big in Bangkok [The "Doctor" Will See You Now]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Books + Media, Human Sacrifice, The "Doctor" Will See You Now | Tagged Kate Clark, Kill Bill, Oxycodone, Thailand, The Matrix, Uma Thurman, Wayward Betty | Leave a comment

27May2011

Something about that country was making me want to go under the knife.

Here, a yarn by Wayward Betty writer Kate Clark, via Hairpin and Gawker.com, which picked it up. The moral? Go big, then go home.

One of the reasons plastic surgery is cheaper in Thailand is that the entire process is streamlined. Same-day consultations and surgery make the process more efficient, so instead of making an appointment, you basically sit in a line and wait until the doctor can see you.

The waiting room is packed and feels like that afterlife scene from Beetlejuice: we’re all kind of messed up, looking around wondering what happened to whom and what needs fixing. With some of the patients it’s clear: a child with a harelip, a burn victim, and a row of lady-boys waiting for sex change operations. Then there are the rest of us: Europeans, Australians, and Americans who are either seeking nose jobs, facelifts, liposuction, or implants (me).

The hospital is colorful and bright, and — this is my favorite part — the nurses are on roller skates, wearing tight suits like flight attendants in the ’60s, gliding by with documents, medication, syringes. There’s also techno music playing in the background as if the whole experience should say, “Plastic surgery is fun! Let’s do it again!” Similarly, throughout the hospital advertisements encourage you to “Be happy. Be beautiful” and include a running list of procedures you can undergo to make this happen… Continue reading

Trial by Volcano [Lonely Island]

Posted by Christian DeBenedetti in Airport "Food", Bad Asses, Drive Like Hell, European Delights, Flying the Unfriendly Skies, Lonely Island, Mountain Madness, Off The Map, Road Warriors, Survival, The Howl of Nature, When Animals Attack | Tagged Kate Erickson | Leave a comment

23May2011

The Brooding Woman. Paul Gaugin, 1891.

What does it feel like, that first night abroad and alone? Here, in a taut, vivid meditation on the nature of recomposing the self in a new, thrillingly different—and more than a little dangerous—environment, frequent contributor Kate Erickson explains the sensation with a searching, poetic eye. —Christian

I lied when I told Liz, a math teacher on the Portuguese Azores, that I could drive her manual transmission Toyota. Liz needed someone to feed her two dogs and two cats while she visited her family in the States. By the transportation email, we had already covered accommodations; her hundred-year old farmhouse sat in the brambles of a retired, tiered vineyard. Geography: the Azores are halfway between New York and Lisbon, a volcanic archipelago softened by purple hydrangeas. And timeframe: a month, July, the most glorious of the Azores year. I was just out of college, and I was emailing from my parents’ basement in Kentucky.

On June thirtieth my connecting flight from Newark hit a luggage rack, and Air Portugal dismissed all passengers to a crusty Ramada Inn. For one, two, then three days, I was stranded poolside with a dozen woebegone Portuguese grandmothers. They sunbathed and cried; I walked laps in stale jeans and a t-shirt, because Air Portugal had sent my checked bag on without me.

When I finally arrived to Terceira, Liz had been gone for forty-eight hours. Her wild-haired friend, also a teacher at the Air Force base high school, collected and debriefed me. House keys are in the car, unlocked; car keys in a bowl on the kitchen counter. Front door is triple-locked, deadbolt sticks, because Liz only just started using it again.

“These break-ins! Only in the off-base homes, of course, but elaborate as heists. It’s sleeping gas through an open window, then robbery as loud as they please.” She picked at mud on her dashboard. “I recommend locking the windows and shutters, both. Stuffy beats no DVD player.” The friend careened us around a blind turn and slammed to a stop for the cattle jogging downhill, into an open field. “Be careful of this,” she said, wagging a finger at the cows. “They stampede willy-nilly. My God!” She slammed her palm into the steering wheel. “I almost forgot. The cat died. Not your fault, of course.”

“What?” I said. Continue reading