This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

Here’s another yarn from the fearless Tetsuhiko Endo, who laughs in the face of reefs and big waves, even when they laugh right back in his face, with bloody results. — Ed.

“How was the sunrise church service?” My mom asked over the phone.

“It was gweat,” I replied through a mouth full of broken teeth and one severely swollen tongue. 

“Were there a lot of people there?”

“A foo people,” I thought quickly.  “Pwobably mo’ than usual because it was Eastuh, but it was jus the wight amount.  We had a gweat time.”

“That’s good.  And, honey: what’s wrong with your voice?”

“Well…” (more…)

(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)

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Underwater, no one can hear you scream.

Here’s a hilarious eyebrow-raiser from a lusty lass who travels far and wide, stopping at nothing in pursuit of thrills and chills on the road. Almost nothing, that is! Let’s just say it’s rated NC-17, and consider yourselves forewarned.— Ed.

I have spent approximately one year of my life in Indonesia. During my travels there, I had many encounters with Indonesian men who wanted to sleep with me. This is the story of one. Perhaps I’ll write about the others later.

I was backpacking with a French girl possessed of a high sex drive, and each place we stopped on our northern route through the island of Sulawesi—to see the dead bodies in the trees, to see mysterious stones, to see giant blue butterflies—it was her habit, her instinct, to quickly identify the most pleasing man in the village or the town or hotel, drink with him, flirt with him, and eventually sleep with him.

This also affected my travel experience, for if you travel with a carte blanche humper, you too are likely to be pegged as one, which meant that after my French companion had chosen her lay of the day, I’d be left to thwart the attentions of his companion, who was invariably less attractive, less interesting, but always hoping to win access to my lightweight-cotton drawstring pants. (more…)

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Come and be one with Mother Earth!

Here’s the story I read at The Accidental Extremist Launch Party and Reading on May 21. Enjoy — CDB

             In 1996 I was headed for Scotland from London on a bullet train flying through the forest. Wind and leaves whorled around the cars hurtling toward the highlands, but no amount of drizzle could dampen my spirits. I was going to meet a girl I’d never met from my same scholarship program, named Beth, who was studying fiddle music—and I was ready for a break from dreary London.

           When I’d spoken to Beth a few days before she’d asked me: would I mind doing something a bit unusual on day one? There was some party, in some cave, and would I come? That sounded like a perfectly normal thing to do with strangers I’d never met, so I agreed. 

(more…)

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(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

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