FYI, it's not a good idea to try and sell the Bill of Rights.
In the new non-fiction book Lost Rights: The Misadventures of a Stolen American Relic, David Howard retraces the surreal travels of an original, handwritten copy of the Bill of Rights. The 221-year-old document was stolen by an infantryman in Sherman’s army at the end of the Civil War and went missing for 138 years before turning up in an FBI sting in 2003. Here, Howard talks about his journey in pursuit of a prized parchment estimated to be worth as much as $30 million.
How far can a multimillion-dollar object like an original Bill of Rights really travel?
Pretty far, actually, during that many years on the lam. The soldier who looted it took it home to Ohio and sold it a year later for $5, and the guy who bought it carried the parchment all over the Northeast before settling in Indiana. And then in recent years the Bill of Rights began moving again; I went to Ohio, Indiana, Connecticut, North Carolina, Chicago, Philadelphia, New York City and D.C., among other places.
What was the oddest place the artifact turned up?
It hung on the wall of a nursing home for a while. And in a library vault. But the strangest spot was probably in the home of an ultra-high-end antiques dealer in Litchfield, Connecticut. That guy, Peter Tillou, told me that for a while he kept the Bill of Rights under his bed.
Any edgy moments?
I think people in the story were more scared of me than anything. It was a very sensitive matter involving a lot of high-end dealers of old things who didn’t know what I was going to write, and a lot of people weren’t happy when I kept showing up. I went to one antiquarian show to find a dealer who had been avoiding me, and his face registered, “Oh God, him again.” I also had a Chicago auctioneer kind of threaten me.
But both you and the Bill of Rights survived.
We did. The document is now in a vault in Raleigh, back where it belongs, and I pieced together the whole story. Funny thing is, with all that rooting around in the lives of wealthy strangers, probably the scariest single moment came after I interviewed Wayne Pratt, the antiques-dealer superstar who was trying to sell the Bill of Rights when the FBI pulled off the sting. He had never spoken to any journalist about it when he agreed to talk, but he wouldn’t let me tape the interview, so I had to take notes by hand. Then, when I flew to Chicago for another interview, I nearly left that notebook on the plane. This would have been catastrophic, because by then Pratt had died of heart failure.
I literally stood up to walk off the plane, and a guy across the aisle said, “Is that yours?” And pointed to the seat pocket in front of where I’d been sitting. I said, “Oh, my God, it is. Thanks.” It’s amazing, sometimes, the kindness of strangers.
Only one piece of carry-on luggage allowed? Make it this book.
Dear Readers, as you head into that great American tradition, a long, lost weekend of drunken pyromania family, friends, and tasty BBQ, take a minute to consider the less fortunate, like adventure travel writer Carl Hoffman, whose new book ‘LUNATIC EXPRESS: Discovering the World…Via its Most Dangerous Buses, Boats, Trains, and Planes’ has just hit the shelves, despite his many apparent efforts to off himself while reporting it. Hoffman just returned from Thailand, where he traveled to write a piece about his 81-year old father’s restaurant in Chiang Mai. We caught up with him just as the jet lag was wearing off.
In one sentence, please defend your sanity. Thank you.
I did not jump out of a plane or climb a mountain or plunge down a waterfall in a kayak; I merely bought tickets on regularly scheduled buses, boat, trains and planes that millions of people take every day.
Seriously, should travelers throw caution to the wind and take their own Lunatic Express trips? What is it about moving around the world through these kinds of corridors that you found so compelling?
The whole point of the journey wasn’t some death defying macho thing, but to use those conveyances as a window through which to see and understand the world as it is for the majority of its people. The world is changing rapidly and huge numbers of people, mostly poor, are on the move, traveling from countryside to city, from one end to the other of enormous cities, from country to country, on epic and often dangerous and uncomfortable journeys. If you’re looking for an authentic travel experience, if you’re looking to meet people and plunge deeply into the world, than there’s no better place than an overcrowded Indonesian ferry or a jam-packed Kenyan Matatu or Mumbai commuter train. And I found that the further off the beaten path I got, the more I put myself into places few westerners went, the more gracious the people became and I was treated with great care and hospitality. So, in a word, yes. Everyone should take their own Loony journey.
Any points in your reportage when you thought, ‘Feck. Now I’ve really done it. Goodbye, world.’ What happened next?
A few times I felt really, really out there – when I squeezed into a shared car in the Peruvian Amazon or when I boarded a small ferry in the Molucca Islands of Indonesia for a place called Buru, and I had no idea where I was going or what I’d find when I got there, and I carried no map or even extra food or water. But those times were the best! I felt a total freedom and exhilaration at moving through the world into this great unknown, and at giving up control and surrendering to whatever lay ahead. And on a bus through Afghanistan, well, it broke down for a bit in a bad area and that was the only time I though, ‘uh oh, I’m stupid and if I die or get kidnapped it won’t be fun and what was I thinking?’ But then the bus coughed to life and off we went.
What’s the most important item in your bag or suitcase, aside from your passport?
My notebooks. Everything else was replaceable, but those weren’t. I kept them in sealed zip lock bags and close at hand, hoping if the ferry sank or the bus plunged off a cliff, I’d be able to keep them safe. And something to read. And Ibuprofen. A must for hangovers.
Why do they hate us?
They don’t. They love us. They’re dying to know everything about us and they all want to move here. The only people who hate us are urban Europeans, and that’s because they’re really so much like us. And maybe a few Taliban, but they secretly all want to move here, too.
I’m a fan of writer William Boyd. His debut novel ‘A Good Man in Africa’ made me howl. What fiction and non-fiction travel-themed writers do you love the most, and why? Do you see yourself writing fiction? What’s next?
I love Tobias Schneebaum, a gay, New York artist who shed his clothes and disappeared into the Amazon in the 50s, and then lived with the Asmat in Indonesian Papua in the 70s. ‘Keep the River on Your Right’ and ‘Where the Spirits Dwell’ are haunting, unbelievable books, and they’re all about the outsider in his own culture who seeks connection in the exotic, and sort of finds it, but not really, because a white Westerner is even more of an outsider with a bunch of natives than he is at home. Naipaul’s old stuff like ‘A Bend in the River’ and ‘A House for Mr. Biswas’ really take you into the Congo and Trinidad, and Ryszard Kapuscinski’s African books are wonderful. I loved Lawrence Osborne’s ‘The Accidental Connoisseur’. John Burdett’s thrillers like ‘Bangkok 8′ and ‘The Godfather of Kathmandu’, about a half Thai, Buddhist detective in Bangkok, are pretty insightful about Thailand and fun to breeze through.
You seem totally unafraid of riding trains like the one on your book cover, overloaded with thousands of death-defying maniacs clinging to the roof. What are you afraid of in the United States?
I always get scared when I tip over my sailboat in the middle of the Potomac River. Which is ridiculous, because the River is about four feet deep and warm and full of boats and only a mile across. But it always freaks me out.
What’s the best skill or piece of local knowledge you’ve picked up from your book project?
I always jump into the front seat of taxis; it establishes a little dominance and rapport. Never be afraid to eat street food or to walk into that dingy, crowded little restaurant. And when in doubt, keep your back to the wall or keep moving.
Any countries you’re still dying to get to? Why?
So many! All of Africa, especially the weird, crazy little countries of West Africa, like Liberia and Sierra Leone that are full of music and life and are recovering from horrible wars. Ethiopia, because its landscape and its people are beautiful. Burma, because its hot and wet and in a socialist authoritarian time warp.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received while traveling?
My father used to tell me when I was little about DC’s inner city: Don’t be afraid; they’re just like you and me, only poor.’ I never forgot that and it’s true about the whole world.
APRIL 18, 2010…After 25+ hours of traveling, my mom and I made it to Delhi from Denver. I was going to volunteer for three weeks, and roped her into a week of sightseeing first. Although we consider ourselves seasoned travelers, my mom’s experience with Third World countries was non-existent, and she had a lot of apprehension, to say the least. I assured her all would be fine and I would handle it all. So, naturally, we were on Indian soil for only an hour, and already there was a story worth repeating.
As we walked out of the Delhi airport we looked for our hired guide among the hundreds of guides lining the exit waiting for their tourists to arrive…
Wednesday September 23rd 2009, 9:48 am
Filed under: Uncategorized
Teamwork builds character!
Isn’t delving into deep nature a feast for the soul? Yeah, sure it is! Except when it becomes more like ‘Lord of the Flies’. Here’s a new yarn from Tetsuhiko Endo on that all-American rite of passage, the Outward Bound adventure, and what happens when the counselors think you’ve reached a higher plane and leave you to your own devices, lost in a giant bog. Enjoy — Ed.
In the summer before my senior year of high school, I went on a canoeing and climbing trip, with Outward Bound, in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area of Minnesota.I was seventeen, and had just spectacularly bombed out of a 10-year junior tennis career with a very public burnout.Suddenly finding myself without the usual summer of traveling to tournaments around the country, trying to smite other stressed out 17 year-olds, it seemed like an opportune time to go on a bit of an adventure.
Before choosing the trip, I had never heard of the Boundary Waters.It is a vast region of wilderness between the border of Minnesota and Ontario that was home to roughly 1,200 interconnected lakes.The pictures were pretty and I had just gotten into rock climbing, so, why not?What I failed to notice about the pictures was that they were all taken from the air.That’s because the Boundary Waters is a far nicer place to look down of from a bush plane than to slog through with a canoe.But more on that later…(more…)
Wednesday September 02nd 2009, 12:04 pm
Filed under: Road Warriors
Experts only? Esta bien!
You know when your friends are out there having a complete, unhinged blast and they email you from the road, fired up on life, making your workday feel even blander? (OK, OK, guilty as charged). Here’s a letter I got from my old college housemate Josh Boulange of Bozeman, Montana, who excels at making his old friends jealous whilst adventuring around the globe in search of untrammeled snow, uncaught salmon, and other delicious things generally beyond the reach of any cubicle. But things don’t always go according to plan. For one, down there, liftlines can resemble riots. Here, the intrepid Boulange on his experience of skiing in Argentina. — Ed.
Greetings,
I write you all from an upstairs locutorio (internet outpost) from Bariloche, after a liter of quilmes and un hamberguesa completa (ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato). I arrived this afternoon after a hellacious bus ride. It was supposed to be 22 hours, but it was only 23. In the middle of the night the bus stopped in the middle of nowhere for about an hour, stuck in a line of traffic. I could see fires by the roadside ahead; everyone was talking about it, but I could not understand anyone. When we finally passed, there were dozens of men throwing logs on the fires and waving long branches at the bus—it seemed like a protest or strike—but I might as well have been in Timbuktu and I could make no sense of any of it. I was also too tired to really try and figure any of it out. There was a one-legged man sitting in front of me with a deep voice who kept going up and down the stairs (double decker bus) all night, like every 30 minutes…. (more…)
Wednesday August 26th 2009, 10:44 am
Filed under: Uncategorized
I don’t currently own a pair of Tevas, but everything about this ridiculous spoof of Man Vs. Wild made me want to buy some. Yes, it’s sophomoric, but it’s also dead on.
Tuesday August 18th 2009, 12:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Here’s a yarn from the writer Bill Gifford: Eight friends went hot-air ballooning in the Poconos on a perfect spring day. What could possibly go wrong?
I’ve done plenty of stupid stuff that could have killed me, everything from backcountry skiing after a snowstorm without avalanche gear (or knowledge), to riding a moped on the island of Mykonos after consuming some sort of blue drink, without lights and late at night. Bad ideas, all. But the worst it ever got, the closest I’ve ever come to starring in one of those two-inch stories buried in the back of the New York Times, happened in the Poconos. In the basket of a hot air balloon.
If you’ve ever been ballooning, then you know that there’s basically nothing less extreme—and nothing more peaceful. You ascend silently, borne up by the power of warmed gases, and then you drift along with the wind, in perfect relative stillness, high above the world and its busy little tangle of people and problems. Cars slow to watch, the people inside pointing and going, “Look! A hot-air balloon!” Many people seem to get engaged on balloon rides; perhaps you did, too. This is the story of a balloon ride gone wrong. (more…)
In early May 2009 TheAccidentalExtremist.com traveled to the Scottish Highlands to follow the Drambuie Pursuit, a one-of-a-kind, two-day, nine-stage adventure race open to teams of amateur athletes from around the world. Hundreds of weekend warriors applied, but only 13 four-person teams made the cut. Among the racers were dot-com desk jockeys, landscapers, and even an online poker player (but not yours truly, except for the mountain climb stage. I was too busy sampling the fermented Highland wares and gawking at amazing old castles). There were also hard-core adventure racers ready for serious battle. Some of them weren’t exactly prepared for the experience that ensued. But that didn’t stop them from going all out—and having a great time. We did, too. Watch and enjoy!
Feel like you’ve got what it takes? Applications are being accepted now. If you win, it’s an all-expenses paid trip to Scotland (and back, unless it kills you, and there are sections that just might) and a chance to rub shoulders with the likes of Seann William Scott, a.k.a. Stiffler, last year’s celebrity contestant.
Monday June 29th 2009, 4:00 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
Here’s another yarn from the fearless Tetsuhiko Endo, who laughs in the face of reefs and big waves, even when they laugh right back in his face, with bloody results. — Ed.
“How was the sunrise church service?” My mom asked over the phone.
“It was gweat,” I replied through a mouth full of broken teeth and one severely swollen tongue.
“Were there a lot of people there?”
“A foo people,” I thought quickly.“Pwobably mo’ than usual because it was Eastuh, but it was jus the wight amount.We had a gweat time.”
“That’s good.And, honey: what’s wrong with your voice?”
Tuesday May 26th 2009, 8:22 am
Filed under: Uncategorized
Just like riding a bike!
A few years ago my girlfriend and I decided to take a trip. We’ve been together off and on since high school, being from the same town in Texas, but we hadn’t taken the big plunge by getting on a plane together. It was our first big vacation, so naturally we went for a romantic destination: Paradise Island, in the Bahamas. It’s one of those places where the hotel rooms seem to float above the water on little stilts. And the water is the color of Windex. It looked absolutely ideal.
On the first day we were feeling adventurous, like we wanted to get absolutely everything out of this trip. We saw some tourists blasting by on scooters, and before long we were standing in a dingey little shack with a local staring at a release form. Not even stopping to read it, I scrawled my signature and told the guy we wanted a two-seater—she’d ride on the seat behind me. I was picturing it: the wind in our hair, we’d blast down to some open-air cabaña on the beach and sip rum and eat conch all afternoon. Perfection.
”You ever ridden one?” the kid asked. I lied, saying I had. My girlfriend didn’t know better, so he grabbed one of the bigger bikes. “We better take a test ride here in the lot,” she said. We saddled up, and weaved wobbily across the asphalt. She grabbed my sides. “I’m getting off. Why don’t you just try it by yourself,” she said. She stepped off, gave me a reassuring look, and I gave the thing some juice.
The next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood, the bike on top of me, burning hot. I’d rocketed across the lot and hit the curb, then endo’d ass-over-teakettle. Somehow I’d severed my Achilles tendon halfway through. I spent the rest of the trip hobbling around in bandages, doped out of my gourd on pain killers.
We’re still together and we’re really happy. There’s just one small problem. She’s obsessed with buying a new toy for some reason. First thing in the morning the other day she goes, “Do you want to come with me out to Westchester? I’m going to buy a scooter, and there’s one I want to look at.” The jury’s still out on that one. —Anonymous in Brooklyn