The Accidental Extremist
There’s No Such Thing As A Bad Trip….

Naked Envy [Wardrobe Malfunctions]
Wednesday April 08th 2009, 8:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized
Can't wait to show off my beach body!

Can't wait to show off my new swimming apparel!

    Ipanema Beach, in Rio de Janeiro, was recently named “The World’s Sexiest Beach”. It is topless, or can be, leaving me the mindless task of identifying the real boobs from the fake on a recent visit. Then the broad shoulders on some of the topless ones had me questioning whether it was a guy or a girl sporting those massive headlights. It’s Brazil, afterall.

    Nevertheless, it was fun to be there, idling away last night’s indulgences mesmerized by the sea. Everyone was so beautiful! Except me, that is.On the whole beach I was the only aberration. I really stuck out next to a sculpted, nearly-naked black man lying in the sand. There I was in 100 degree heat, fully covered in 60 SPF sun screen, with a big floppy hat, long sleeve shirt, and a towel covering me from my toes to my baggy, surfer-style bathing suit. I realized my presence alone could jeopardize Ipanema’s Sexiest Beach status. So, before an ad hoc and barely clad committee could ask me to leave, I collected my towel and what little dignity I could find and departed. Besides, after 45 minutes in the sun I was cooked! As I walked my lily-white butt back to the hotel I imagined that Brazilians all over the beach thanked me for leaving.—Richard Frisbie recently ran for, and nearly won, the office of Mayor in Saugerties, New York. 


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